Easy Ways Loved Ones Can Support a Patient’s Autoimmune Health
It’s not easy for autoimmune patients to do all the things they need to do in order to reduce autoimmune disease symptoms, including following an autoimmune diet. It’s even harder if their significant other, loved ones, or friends aren’t supporting their efforts. Although autoimmune patients need to have their own willpower and determination to succeed in implementing healthy habits, having a supportive partner or friends can go a long way in healing autoimmune disease.
Research shows that social relationships are critical for good health. Interacting with other people can improve cognitive health with aging, enhance immunity, and help people cope with chronic illnesses. Friendship is linked to everything from stress reduction to feelings of happiness to serving as a source of motivation when trying to change their diet or lifestyle.
Whether you’re living with someone with autoimmune disease or have a friend or family member with lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, or other autoimmune condition, here are some things you can do to support them on their healing journey.
If you are an autoimmune patient seeking more support from your loved ones, this is also a great article to share with them.
Discover More About Your Loved One’s Diet
One of the most important ways that loved ones can support an autoimmune patient’s healing is to understand the patient’s autoimmune diet. That means understanding what they’re trying to achieve with their diet, what foods they’re avoiding, and the reasons motivating their changes. Find out which foods are problematic and why avoiding them will help your loved one.
Most people don’t understand why an autoimmune patient cuts out gluten, for example. They think, “It’s just bread. It’s not a bad thing. How harmful could it be?” They don’t get it, which is why it’s important for the autoimmune patient to explain why it’s a problem. To learn more, loved ones can even go with their spouse to a functional medicine doctor appointment.
We have health coaches at Caplan Health Institute that help with meal planning. When our health coach is going over the diet recommendations with the patient, we try to include their significant other, spouse, or any hired help that will prepare meals during that visit. That way everyone learns the dietary restrictions together.
Go on the Same Diet
Autoimmune patients can feel deprived if they can’t eat certain foods. Watching everyone else eat cake and ice cream can feel discouraging. When significant others go on the same diet as autoimmune patients, it can boost their willpower because they know they’re not alone.
Lots of times we encourage spouses to get on the same dietary plan as their partner. Most of those spouses end up feeling better, too, even if they didn’t start the diet with specific complaints or health challenges. They notice improved energy and sleep as well as weight loss. It’s a win-win. Spouses gets healthier, and autoimmune patients don’t feel like they’re doing it alone.
Get Involved with Travel Planning
Whether an out-of-town friend or relative with autoimmune disease is coming to visit, or you’re the significant other of an autoimmune patient, you can help him or her make healthy choices during travel. Find out what types of food he or she is trying to avoid and have food around the house that fits his or her meal plan. Search for local restaurants that have healthy food options and find recipes that are compatible with your visitor’s eating plan.
Don’t Sabotage Your Loved One’s Sleep
Sleep habits are often one of the most challenging aspects of providing support to significant others and spouses. For example, autoimmune patients have told me, “I stay up late because my spouse gets home late from work, and I want to stay up and be with them for a while before I go to bed.” I point out that, “We really need to get you to go to bed before midnight because it’s really going to help you.”
Spouses need to be on board with the autoimmune patient’s goals and aware of the positive impact of regular sleep. Going to bed at a certain time and waking up at a certain time will reset the patient’s adrenals, which in turn will help reduce stress on the body. Consistent sleep patterns make people feel better.
Make It a Team Effort
Another way in which family members can support their loved ones with an autoimmune disease is to encourage exercise and relaxation. Recommend making exercise a family activity. I’ve seen people get their kids involved with meditation or exercise. They go to gym or play outside as a family.
Avoid sabotaging your loved one’s exercise routine as well. If you’re not going to exercise with your autoimmune patient loved one, it’s important for you to encourage his or her efforts instead of sabotaging them with statements like, “Come sit and watch TV with me instead” or “You go exercise while I stay here and watch TV and eat ice cream.” Staying home and eating ice cream may sound better, but it will undermine your loved one’s best efforts to get better if she stays home instead of taking that walk.
Autoimmune Patients: What to Do If Your Spouse Isn’t Supportive
Sometimes, an autoimmune patient’s significant other or family member is not on the same page, no matter how hard the patient tries to get them to understand. I’ve had more than one patient say, “My husband sabotages my diet.” Marriage problems are more common among people with autoimmune conditions like rheumatoid arthritis and lupus, especially if the spouse with autoimmune issues doesn’t feel supported.
If that’s the case, autoimmune patients can find other sources of support outside of the relationship. They may need to find an in-person or virtual autoimmune support group. Members of a lupus support group or rheumatoid arthritis support group offer understanding and empathy.
Need other options? If a patient’s spouse won’t or can’t exercise, the patient can get together with friends for a walk around the neighborhood or something more challenging if the mood strikes.
At the Caplan Health Institute, we also have health coaches that function as part of the support system for autoimmune patients. Coaches can send patients food logs to get their feedback, and they can act as a source of accountability.
Is Your Loved One Supportive or Sabotaging? Spouses, friends, relatives, and other loved ones can be motivating or sabotaging. Sometimes, they mean well, but in the end, it’s not good for a patient’s autoimmune health. Here are some ways to know if a loved one is sabotaging an autoimmune patient’s efforts. If you’re an autoimmune patient, ask yourself these questions: • Do they ask questions like, “Is one bite of cake going to hurt you?” • Do you feel as if you’re being manipulated into doing something you don’t want to do? • Do they say thing things like, “Do you want to order a pizza for dinner?” even though you’re trying to avoid it? • Do you feel like you have to defend your eating habits to this person? • Is your loved one showing signs that your new healthy habits are threatening your relationship or marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions, educating the person on why you are changing your diet and lifestyle can help him or her understand. |
Sometimes It’s Up to the Patient
Supportive family and friends can make a world of difference in healing autoimmune disease, but autoimmune patients have to make their own healthy choices. It’s especially hard in social situations that revolve around food, especially the unhealthy kind, including sweets and alcohol.
In social situations, most people will be unaware of the presence of an autoimmune patient who is following a restricted diet. To avoid a prolonged discussion, say “I don’t want that” instead of “I can’t have that” when offered problematic food or beverages. Most people won’t inquire about the reasons behind that decision, and a simple change in phrasing is also empowering. When a person says, “I can’t have that,” it’s victimizing versus “I don’t want that,” which is about making healthier choices.
A Source of Support for Autoimmune Disease
As a functional medicine provider, I guide autoimmune disease patients on the right path to healing by ordering the right tests and recommending the best dietary and lifestyle practices. Our health coaches also serve as another source of support.
If you have an autoimmune disease or suspect that you do, sign up for a free 15-minute discovery consultation, and if you come on board as a patient, I can develop a customized regimen for you that includes an autoimmune disease diet plan. At that point, you also can work with our health coaches to help you stay the course no matter how many temptations you face.
Sherry Robinson
Is when your white blood cells causes it to be hard to heal from infections.
Michelle French
I had no idea that a special diet was needed to help me with all the problems of an autoimmune disease. Please sign me up for the 15 minute consultation. Thank you.
Dr. Tiffany Caplan, DC, CFMP, IFMCP & Dr. Brent Caplan, DC, CFMP, IFMCP
Hi Michelle, you can schedule that here: https://caplanhealthinstitute.com/consultation/